Welcome to the "Kit"  

The following pages attempt to make a series of points, each of which I have gained great value from.  I truly hope some resonate with you and help you on your exciting journey.  THIS is a terrific moment in your life.  I hope you step back, take a breath and reflect on that....

Okay let's dive in! 




Life Rewards Action, Not Intelligence 

Many say the key to success, above all other factors, is GRIT.  It is amazing what you can accomplish if you simply stick to it and don't give up.

70% of life is just showing up
Often I don't want to go to something.  Virtually every time I do go, I am glad I did.  So go do it!




Supply and Demand

Almost everything that you ever look at in business and frankly in life, should start with a perspective on the supply vs the demand.  If you go into a used car lot and there are 50 cars for sale and only you looking, pricing should be “flexible”.  On the other hand, if there are only 2 cars and there are 20 people looking, the pricing will be less likely to be negotiable.  So always start any process you are involved in with a mental analysis of the supply of something vs the apparent demand.




Compounding

Albert Einstein called compounding the “8th wonder of the world”.  You don’t have to be good at math to understand and deploy it in your life.  An example:  If you get your coffee at work (almost always free) vs buying it at Starbucks, that’s $5-$10 savings per day.  Invest it in a CD or other savings vehicle and it will COMPOUND.  In your 40’s you will likely have a million dollars, which you otherwise would not have.
The reverse is true.  If you don’t pay off your credit card on time every month, the interest expense will COMPOUND and really eat into your ability to build a nest egg.




Care But Not Too Much

Almost everything is “negotiable”.  When you are buying a flat screen TV, car, a house or apartment, you should not be afraid to “negotiate”.  Always start by sensing what the supply and demand is and go from there.  If you are trying to buy a refrigerator or dishwasher, and you are the only one in the appliance department looking and it’s late in the day, the salesman is going to be anxious to make a sale.  One of the keys to negotiation is to “CARE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH!”  When someone appears  very enthusiastic to buy something, the seller is less likely to negotiate.  It is not being “cheap” or “unfair” to politely say something like “Could you give me a 10% discount on that?” Or “Is that the best price I can get?’  You will be surprised how often you can save yourself some money.  And remember, the seller will only sell it to you at that price if they want to.  So don’t feel badly, trust me, most of the time there is a very large profit margin built in!




Listening

There is a reason God gave us two ears and one mouth.  It is amazing how often we are waiting for someone to finish talking so we can say what we want to say vs actually LISTENING.  It is a huge advantage if you actually listen intently.  You will learn a ton and people will be impressed by your politeness and focus.   




Surround Yourself with Quality

People’s lives are heavily influenced by whom they hang out with.  Pick your associations, both individuals and entities very carefully.  They will have more influence on you that you will likely realize.  Be nice to everyone; however, focus on people who you respect and admire. 




Share

In your career, be the person you would like to sit next to.  I had that person in my first year at Goldman Sachs.  He helped me enormously, with no real self interest accruing to him.  (He was a Hamilton College grad…..but still a decent fellow!)  I will never forget that.  Being that person to others will take you far.




Moving Beyond Yourself

Find something bigger than yourself to look up to, commit to and be loyal to.  Obviously, first and foremost is your family.  In your career you want to find this also.  Successful career people are part of something bigger than themselves.  If you can’t find it then try and create it yourself.




Weavers and Rippers

In your career, you will likely be part of some enterprise.  The key to that enterprise will be the people the strategy, and the culture.   You want to be a “culture carrier”  Think of the enterprise as a quilt.  There are weavers and there are rippers, constantly reinforcing, or undermining the culture.  You want to be a weaver not a ripper.  That doesn’t mean you can’t make constructive suggestions.  It does mean you shouldn’t be going around undermining things. 




Hello Glitch 

Whenever you try to do something meaningful, something always seems to go wrong.  We all run into roadblocks + hiccups along the way.  

It is not what happens to you its how you react.  I recommend “Hello Glitch”!

When you get hit with a setback say “Hello Glitch, my you are ugly.  Come sit down and let’s talk.”  Dealing with it this way vs getting all upset really changes the game in terms of coming up with solutions to the problem, so use “Hello Glitch”.  




Learn, Earn, Return

There are three phases in life.  You are still in the learning phase. 
Now you will go out and "earn". 
And hopefully you will have the wisdom, desire and resources to be able to "return".
Never stop learning, however always remember that you want the world to be a better place because you were here.  That means different things to each of us, however it is important to all of us!




Agent for Change

Hopefully many of you aspire to be "change agents"  The world needs to evolve and improve, locally, nationally and globally.   My learning here was, first off, I need to understand the way the world works before I can go about helping it evolve and improve.  Otherwise I may do more harm than good.





Inserted below are the six points that were in my speech




#1. Each Of You Faces Some Key Decisions.

They are interrelated. Some of you may have already made these decisions…but I bet many of you have not. And that’s a fine place to be. 
They include:
-What am I going to do for a career.
-Where am I going to live.
-Who am I going to spend my life with.
 
This third one, for many of you, will be the most important decision you will make in your life. It was for me….thank you MARNA…50 yrs later.
 
My advice-DO NOT RUSH THESE DECISIONS. If it takes a year or two, fine. If it takes 10 years, fine. You will feel a lot of pressure to make these decisions… from yourself and from others. Relax. Take your time. 
 
It is critical that you get these decisions right.




#2. Balance

Your personal life is more important than your professional life.  It is paramount that you prioritize your personal life.  Full stop!

However….If you are not happy professionally, you can really screw up your personal life.  If your job causes you to be bored/frustrated/miserable, it is hard not to bring that home and have it invade your personal life.  So, it is important to have a professional life that is satisfying. 

Balance  is one of the most important things we deal with in life.  Your energy level and ability to make balanced decisions really depend on keeping yourself refreshed. 

That means taking care of yourself. That means taking time off, that means cultivating friendships, that means adequate sleep. People who work “too hard” get irritable and less capable of making rational and thoughtful decisions. So, think of the balance in your life. 

One more thing on balance:
When I got out of school, I had a lot of student debt, something that I am sure many of you face.

I, with enormous help and support from Marna, made a decision to work to get myself out of debt and into a savings mindset.  We wanted to reach a point where we felt economically safe and secure. We decided to spend on things we needed vs things we wanted.  So we didn’t get a new car.  (Our car was so dilapidated that the back doors wouldn’t close so we roped them together to keep them shut.)   We didn’t get a parking garage in Manhattan.  We had to move our car to the other side of the street every night.. We ate almost every meal at home, and we paid down that debt

This mindset paid great dividends…and these were some of our happiest times together.




#3. Failure

Something I know quite a bit about. There are 2 kinds of failures. I have experienced both.

One kind- you do your best yet fail. That you can live with and recover from. If you try…and fail…there is no shame. You can hold your head high. Many successful, happy people, have failed…often several times. Many will tell you that these failures were important to their development. Don’t be afraid to try. Don’t be afraid of failure.
 
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

2. The other kind of failure – you mail it in, blow it off, don’t give it the effort required. That is much tougher to live with. When I flunked out of Middlebury…twice…I let a lot of people down. People who had stood up for me, putting their own credibility on the line…I could not look them in the eye and tell them I gave it my best. 

In hindsight, that was totally unacceptable. Don’t take on a meaningful task you are not prepared to put the effort into.




#4. Finding Your Calling  

How did I find mine and what possible lessons are in that story for you?

This relates to all career paths 

I asked myself:
What do I like doing? What am I good at? Where have I found success?
 
FINDING YOUR CALLING 1.0:
 
For me, I found success in SPORTS. I loved being on a team, I loved competition, I loved a challenge. I loved numbers (I used to memorize baseball statistics as a kid). I was good at MATH…and I thrived in very intense, high pressure environments…where winning and losing really mattered. 

When I went to NYC for the first time in my adult life, I went down to the New York Stock Exchange. There was incredible energy. People were shouting at each other, throwing papers around…it was wild and chaotic. I loved it instantly.  
I liked this GAME. …numbers were key, winning and losing really mattered, there was a scorecard, it was very competitive and everyone on the floor was part of a team.
 
THIS IS MY NEXT SPORT! I want to play. Put me in coach!!! 

Every Wall Street firm had a trading room, a mini version of the NYSE. I then knew where I belonged. I’ll tell you how I got there in a minute… 
So, figure out what you like… What you are good at. What you have a passion for…
 
It is a huge part of the key decisions matrix… “what am I going to do?”

FINDING YOUR CALLING 2.0:
 
Now that I had found my calling… I.0 

I needed to do some “bassackwards” planning. I knew the general field I wanted to be in at 22 but where did I want to be at 40 or 50.
 
My first job out of college…the trading room at Bank of Boston…I absolutely loved that job. I was told I was good at it. I was “allset”.
 
However…
 
I looked at the people who were doing what I would be doing in 10 or 20 years, and it was not what I wanted to be doing at 30, 40 or 50. I did a bunch of thinking, met lots of people, asked tons of questions and eventually found people who were well along in careers doing what I thought I wanted to do

So…
 
Working backwards from where they were to where I was, I realized that I needed several years of training in corporate finance and accounting. I decided to quit my job, which I loved, and go back to school to get an MBA. Then I spent several years in the bull pen on Wall Street so I could hopefully do at 30,40,or 50 what these people were doing.
 
The message here is ‘IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET THERE’!

Find Senior people doing what you want to do, and work backwards to where you are now.  

Bassackwards career planning

Intentionally. Ask yourself  “what are my intentions?”




#5. How to deal with ‘NO”
 
When I was still at UVM, before I had seen the NYSE, I went down to Boston to interview for a job. I got an interview with the head of the Personnel Department. She was a savvy, no nonsense person. I made my pitch. She asked me a few questions, looked at my application and transcript…and then paused, looked at me and said… 

“Let me be candid with you. Your application is a non-starter.”
 
I said, “What do you mean…a non-starter?”
 
She replied, “You have demonstrated no academic performance. You have no relevant work experience. You have no idea what area you want to work in and why.” THIS WAS NO!
 
I couldn’t even use the now famous movie line “so you’re telling me I’ve got a chance”…
 
She closed my file. We were done. The meeting was over. 

I said, “Hold on. I appreciate your candor. Are you telling me that if I demonstrate academic performance…I get some relevant work experience...and I revisit the company several times to see where I would want to work, and why….you would reconsider me?”
 
She said, ‘Sure’ …100% certain that she would never see me again.
 
THAT INVIGORATED ME! I had a purpose, a challenge and my work cut out for me. 

GAME ON!

I needed 25 more credits to graduate that semester.
 
I needed 8 classes vs 4 or 5…two of which met at the same time.
 
The Support I received from my family, coaches, teachers and classmates to be able to do that was tremendous. 

Then I got a job over the summer in a brokerage firm in Burlington working for the head of the firm. I agreed to do anything…and I did..I processed tickets in the back office, I mowed his lawn, picked up his dry cleaning, cleaned his pool, babysat his kids, and chauffeured him around.  In return, I went everywhere he went and could ask him anything. I learned a ton. 

I then went back to the company several times and not only found the area I wanted to work in, but I developed a relationship with a senior person there.
 
I then went back to see the Personnel lady and said: 
 
Remember me?

I took 25 credit hours last semester including two classes that met at the same time.
             -I made the Deans List for the first time in my life. Here’s my transcript.

             -I  got a job at a brokerage firm, have learned a ton, and here is a reference letter from the head of the firm and also informed her they had offered me a full time job.

-I came back to the company several times and found the department I wanted to work in. And if you called the Dept head, I think he would give you a good review on me. 
 
Then I asked “Am I still a non starter?”
 
She was blown away, called the head of the dept and they offered me a job. 

I won’t drone on about how I talked my way into Columbia Business School with my 2.3 cum but suffice it to say I was a “non starter’ there also. 

On the first day of classes at Columbia, the first years all got together to hear from the Dean. Everyone was asked to stand up and say their name, where they went to college and their major. One by one, people stood up. "I’m John Harper, Economics, Harvard." "I’m Joann Swanson, Mathematics, Princeton" and so forth. 

Then I stood up. “Chuck Davis, University of Vermont, Physical Education.” 


Everyone in the room roared with laughter… 

A similar story took place at Goldman Sachs. With my background, I was quote a “non starter” in my interview there as well. When the interviewer put his feet up on the desk and started talking tennis,  I knew this was a “NO”. I changed the direction of that conversation immediately!
 
So, when you hear “NO”…roll up your sleeves, the work begins.




#6. Unconditional Love
 
I’m not sure there is anything more important than unconditional love. It will get you through the hard times…and there will be hard times.  It will help you get past your mistakes…and you will make mistakes, we all do. That is when we need the unconditional love of our families, our friends, our mentors.
 
To receive this love is a huge blessing. To give it is critical. I would not be here today without the unconditional love of my family. I suspect many of you would not be here either.

When I was in graduate school at Columbia.  I took a Greyhound bus home to Burlington, Vermont for Thanksgiving. It was a Wednesday night. This bus was packed full. It was due into Burlington at 11pm.  

We had a flat tire on the NY thruway. It took hours to get another bus.  We pull into Burlington at 3 o’clock in the morning.  The bus is packed, not one empty seat.  The bus rolls down Main Street towards the bus station.  

It is dark everywhere except there is a streetlight on the bus stop corner. Under that streetlight, at 3 in the morning stands one man waiting for that bus. …..my father.
I am not 12 years old….I am 24. THAT is unconditional love!

Please give it to the people you care about and appreciate it and respect it when it is given to you. Even if you have never received it, give it because it will come back to you.

When I flunked out of Middlebury the second time, one of my best friend’s fathers asked to see me. He was a federal judge in VT and a very intimidating man. He had been on the board of trustees at Middlebury and had recommended me very strongly both the first time and the second. I knew I was in for a tongue lashing. I was at a real low point. I was a true screw up and I wasn’t sure what my next move was. I went to his office. I was very nervous, and ashamed. He stood up from behind his huge desk, came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said:
 
“Chuck, if there is anything I can do for you, anything at all, you just let me know.”
 
How could he say that to me after I  had let him down?

Well, 
 
#1 he clearly saw something in me that I did not yet see in myself.

…AND….

#2 he loved me unconditionally.
 
THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS IN MY LIFE
 
There are people in your life who know you better than you know yourself…think about that for a moment…who are they?…listen to them…






In conclusion, let's see what some very smart, successful people have to say.


Warren Buffett Says:

If you look around at the people you admire, they have certain qualities…Generally they have an upbeat attitude on life. Generally, they are generous people, they’re humorous people. They are people that are doing more than their share.  They’re people that are thinking about something nice they can do for you.  And then there’s other people that turn you off.  They take credit for things they didn’t do. They don’t show up on time. They’re a little dishonest about things. And if you’re looking at your life and you can choose what kind of person you can be, why not be the person you admire, rather than the person you can’t stand? Its so simple. Take your five best friends. Why do you like them?  And just write down those qualities. And you will find there is no quality there that you can’t have yourself.  And similarly with the five people that you can’t stand to be around.  Put those things down that turn you off about those people. And if they turn you off about them, why should you possess them?  Its so simple.  Its not like something complicated that you think you should be learning with an advanced degree in school – I will guarantee you if you actually just write down those qualities and think about it you will find you can have every one of the attractive qualities, get rid of the ones that they are negative, and your life will be different. 




Tom Brady Says:

To be successful at anything, the truth is you don’t have to be special.  You just have to be what most people are not: consistent, determined, and willing to work for it.




Jeff Bezos Says:

Divide decisions into “one way door” vs “two-way door” decisions. Two-way door decisions can be reversed fairly easily.  “One way door decisions” are not easily reversible and therefore should be made carefully and with caution.  Figure out ahead of a decision which it is.




Jamie Dimon Says:

I tell all people at JP Morgan, they should take care on their own, their mind, their body, their spirit, their soul, their friends, their family, their health, they have to do that, it’s part of their life. If you mess that up it makes everything in your life particularly  hard.



Conclusion

So, 5 years from now when someone asks you who gave your commencement speech you can say: Jeff Bezos, Jamie Dimon, Tom Brady, Warren Buffett and some old guy whose name escapes me!